Presence

Written by Thegirlwithapuzzledmind

Finally, I got a glimpse of her
And everything else got blurred.
Her hair was in a bun
With loose strands falling on her face.
She was crossing the road looking sideways.
Unaware of my presence, like always.
Everyday I would wait for her at the stop like a ritual
Everyday she would pass me and hop on her bus like usual.
But something different happened today.
While walking she tripped and fell down.
I reached hurriedly to her
She was looking all around with a frown
And suddenly her eyes met mine
And with an amused expression she started laughing
It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.
And I could not stop but join her.

For the first time she was aware of my presence.

128 thoughts on “Presence”

  18. Wow, this is amazing! Nice twist at the end. Sometimes, all we want is to be noticed. And that is perfectly okay. Love it ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™

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  20. Beautifully written, Yeshu. Khub bhalo. Ami padhkar bahot khushi hui.๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    So nicely you have described the whole scene that I saw both of them right from my eyes. And I also liked how the guy was so happy to be noticed by her.๐Ÿ˜ƒโœจ

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  27. This touched a chord within, a rather unused, rusted, but still alive chord. Thanks for bringing back amazing memories…lovely words…๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿคœ๐Ÿค›๐Ÿ€๐Ÿต๏ธ๐Ÿต๏ธ

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      3. You did really well. And you reassured me that women still believe in the innocent desires of love, something that’s lost nowadays, by our own evil doings. Thanks. Take care…๐Ÿ€๐Ÿ€

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  38. Hi Yeshu, how are you doing?
    Actually I read this piece the day you posted it, but I couldn’t comment on it.

    But its never too late, I am here to tell you how I enjoyed reading this. I so loved how the guy described the girl, about her hair tied in a bun. It could be easily felt by the reader that how the writer here is adoring the girl. I could feel it all.
    It’s a beautiful piece ๐Ÿ™‚

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    1. Hey Rashmi. I am good. Hope the same for you.
      And yeah its never too late. You comments are always welcome and appreciated. Thank you. I tried describing the girl from a guy’s point of view, really happy to know it came out well and you liked it.

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  42. This is so lovely and beautiful words imaginery, I have seen after a very long someone writing from the perception of opposite gender and I know it is somehow different as I have written a short story with female protagonist.
    Great effort!๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ™Œ

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