Secrets of mind

We all have gone through good and bad mood phases. There are certain persons, things or events which usually decides or rule our mood. But do you all ever feel sad and dont even know the reason behind it. Do you feel out of place even though that’s the only place you know.

You try to ask yourself whats the reason for this sadness that slowly crept up and have taken hold on your mood. But there’s no reason, atleast no immediate reason known to you. You try to understand what exactly triggers this sadness but again there is no clear answer.

There is nothing that you can do about it. The more you ask the reason the more the mystery increase.

Its not the first time that this aloofness has taken hold on you. One moment you were happy and singing and the other moment you felt like nothing in this damn world can cheer you up. Suddenly you start feeling alone in a room full of people. All the chatters and the laughters which you were a part of a while ago is now only whispers to you.

You try hard to get over it, recover from it and get back to your cheery self. But you feel tired, too tired to even smile. You are scared that suddenly you have become some irritated, furious person and you stop talking to people around afraid that you will ruin their mood too.

Explaining yourself would be too difficult to others as you yourself don’t know what is happening and why it’s happening. You start searching for darkness, for comfort where you can rest, cry and confine yourself. It might take days to recover from this but what other option you have.

Time heals everything you have heard that somewhere and you badly pray that this unknown sadness is healed with it.

Lets fall in love with yourself first

Today I want to talk about Mental Health, Depression and Self Love. Honestly before yesterday I have not given much thought to depression and how serious it could be. But yesterday incident of how a young, promising Bollywood actor Sushant Singh Rajpoot committed suicide have left me shaken.

I am deeply shocked and disturbed by this news and since yesterday I have been thinking how fatal depression could be and how exactly it take its grip on our mind so strongly that one can end their own life. I tried hard to understand the mindset and the thoughts that lead a person to commit something like this. But I have not been able to. Still I would like to share the thoughts that are coming to my mind since yesterday.

I have always believed that people who are not strong enough to face life difficulties resort to suicide. But Sushant was no coward. He was one of the top ranker in Engineering and still he left that to pursue his dream, a career in acting. You need bravery to take such bold steps. You need confidence in yourself to go ahead and leave a set career and chase your dreams and start your life afresh. This all left me believing that he was a person with strong mindset and self confidence. And still he chose to end his life in this way.

Its high time that we should take mental health seriously. Depression can be of many forms and can be triggered in various ways. Its not necessary that a depressed person will look sad. One might look perfectly happy and content and still depressed.

We live in such a world where we only share happy perfect moments. Hiding you pain is a sign of strength. Social life is more relevant than actual real life. We always focus on clicking beautiful smiling pictures than to actually enjoy that moment.

But this is not life. This is not real. Life have ups and down, joy and sorrow. Our lives are never as perfect as our Insta posts. There is no strength in hiding pain, the real strength is in talking about what’s bothering you and facing it. I dont know from where we got this concept of a perfect happy life. But I know that this is not the reality.

Anger, sadness, frustration, anxiety, despair this all are also as much a part of life as happiness. We have to learn to embrace all. And we have to learn to talk about it.

I know the world will not change in a single day. We are too engrossed in our so called perfect social life to accept the real raw life and hence Self love is important.

Every single one of us have our own battles and demons to fight and there is no escape from that. Life has its own share of challenges for all of us and its entirely on us that how we face and overcome them. Its true that everyone does not necessarily have friends and family to support. And even if one have its not essential that they are always there to support you. So at that time we have to support and love ourselves and we have to believe in our capabilities.

Lets not get deterred by the constant pressure, comparison, criticism, confusion, demands, insecurities. Lets give some time to yourself. Successfully dealing with all the problems is not practical everytime. We are humans we have flaws. But every problem, every situation leaves a lesson for us and thus prepare us for future. Lets keep that in mind.

If we can’t love ourselves enough how can we expect anyone else to love us. Lets be friends with yourself first. Talk to yourself, know about yourself. And you will find how amazing a person you are.

Lets not succumb to societal pressure, lets not succumb to failures, lets not succumb to depression.

Lets fall in love with yourself.

Mountains Are Calling

Hi there, if you like trekking or looking forward to trek this post is for you.

I know it’s not the right time to talk about travel but somehow I am not able to get it out of my mind.

So broadly there are two types of travellers. One who are more interested in the lavish hotels, pools, casinos, cruise, clubbing scene, shopping, monuments..you know more of a touristy kind.

And the other one who are more into remote places, more interested in the nature and calm, interested to know more about the hike and trails, local people and customs, try local foods. They are ready to give miss to comfort for nature.

I belong to the second category. Though I have not travelled as much as I would have liked. I had my fair share of experience. And unfortunately I dont think there would be anymore travel this year for me. So yeah, thats sad I know. But that’s how 2020 is

Today I am specifically missing the last time I was in mountains. As one of my fellow trekker have put up our trek video in Instagram and that really made me nostalgic. So i thought why not I write about it.

Last year on the last week of December I was on the lap of Mighty Himalayas trying to summit the peak of Kedarkantha. It was my first proper trek. Its a small trek of around five days with an altitude of 12,500 ft. , but the cold was really to watch out for as it dropped as low as – 14 degree celsius.

Snow was waist deep

When I started this trek I was only concerned about climbing and descending the mountain and gearing up for cold. I didn’t expect it to be anything more than that. But it was much much more.

It was more about knowing yourself, about meeting people from other walks of life. It was about being surrounded with the beauty of mighty Himalayas and knowing how insignificant and yet important you are.

It was about star gazing and looking for shooting stars in cold nights and about acknowledging that there is an almighty above all of us. It was also about playing ludo in torch light with friends while cribbing about cold. It was about listening to ghost stories in the dead of night and feeling a sudden chill.

It was about being friendly with the kitchen staffs so that occasionally you can go to the kitchen tent and warm yourself up in front of the fire. It was about waking up every morning and find snow in your hair. It was about to be awestruck everytime you look around. The valleys, mountains, snow, trees, frozen lake creates an unforgettable scene.

It was about almost giving up before the summit and then finding the strength and climbing to the top. It was about falling down numerous time and covering yourself with snow all over. It was about learning to be dependent and independent at the same time. It was about realizing that your imagination will fall short in front of the beauty of mother nature.It was about coming back with heart filled with gratitude

Our campsite

If I get time I will surely share my full trekking experience in details with some mind blowing photos/videos. Let me know if you want to read more.

There’s magic within all of us

Hello, I know its been long but like everyone else around I too got caught in the frenzy of Money Heist and I am not complaining. It was one hell of a series. So now after completing that series and falling head over heels with Professor I am back here

Now that lockdown is slowly getting lifted and things are coming back to normal though the fear of Covid 19 is still very much there I was thinking about the last few months.

There were so many other things that I have been able to do in lockdown period which otherwise would not have been possible.

I once again found solace in my forever and ever love for Harry Potter. If you have also read the books (strictly the books not the movies please) you know that those seven books works like magic. It takes you to a world which we all want to be real and be a part of.

So I nominated myself for 10 days 10 book challenge and fortunately I have been able to successfully manage that. The first seven days were definitely taken by magic and the rest three days I read Cell by Stephen King, The Calcutta Chromosome by Amitav Ghosh and Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami and I was not at all disappointed by any of them.

I have cooked so many dishes in the past few months which I haven’t cooked in my whole life. I have tried my hand in baking, made pizza, pasta, cookies, mocktails, different sauces etc etc. And I have done all this we no interest in cooking whatsoever but because of my total greed for eating all junk

I have also cleaned my room, my bookshelves, shoe racks and royally ignore my cabinet. You know just the though of arranging my clothes makes me sad. Just imagine having all those preety dresses in hand and not able to wear them. Yeah its depressing i know. So i clearly avoided that situation and that cabinet still a mess.

So in total these few months have made me do and learn so many things which otherwise I would have never done. As a true Harry Potter fan I have always believed that magic exist in all of us. But in this few months I have witnessed magic. How we all have spent this time locked at home with uncertainties, fear, ample office workloads and still we all have managed to survive and rather came up with new skills. Like apart from this new culinary skills which I have developed in me I have also become a more patient person. A virtue I was totally lacking before.

Now since the city is again on the verge of opening up I am surely going to miss this time and hope to keep on learning things which I have not done before and hope to keep the magic alive.

I hope this lockdown have made all of us a better person. Now its time to go out and realize those dreams again.

Confusion is the solution

How you guys are spending your time these days. I am honestly very much confused. I guess I have too much time in hand to think about things which is leading to too much confusion.

Now my confusion is not very philanthropic . Its more related to daily regular life drama. Like what’s this new life with Corona have in store for me. I think about job security, the bleak future, the career goals, how much pay cut I might have to incur, what will happen to the job change that I was thinking about and etc etc.

And apart from this regular issues I am also really concerned about some other seriously pressing issues like how will I go to my favourite restaurant and order my favourite dishes, how am I suppose to enjoy Street foods, what will happen to my Zumba classes, when I will be able to booze and dance the night with my friends, what will happen to my travel plans for this year, when will I go and watch movie in theatre and etc etc

All this have really puzzled me. As you can understand from my name I get puzzled very easily. But I have also realized one thing a confused mind does not mean that you are incompetent.

Confusion in itself is beautiful.

Confusion is the most active state of mind where you are constantly struggling to arrive at a decision by weighing all the options. Confusion means you still have options to choose and pursue, it means you still have control over your destiny.

Only through confusion we can arrive at a decision. And once the decision is made there is no turning back. You have to pursue it, execute it. There is no more scope of confusion then.

Confusion is like chaos, and sometimes chaos is what we all need.

So if you are puzzled about something enjoy the chaos. As Carl Jung has famously said there is order in chaos. So lets embrace this confusion, a confused mind does not mean a weak mind. Confusion is ok, it leads to clarity.

So be confused, Take your time think, weigh the options and come to a decision. And then don’t look back.

So this quarantine I would be lying on my couch with my eyes shut and books on my side and I am going to enjoy this chaos.

Life in Quarantine


I was thinking hard about the topic that I should take on as my first blog post. Phew!! thats quite a pressure trust me. But then I thought to ditch this pressure and write what we all are going through in this tough times.

Now I have watched film like Contagion as well as a series The last ship which was about a pandemic breaking out all over the world. But never have I ever thought that someday I would be living this for real. If you haven’t watched any of this movie or series don’t go for it.. it’s not the right time to start watching. Trust me.

I am surprise that how this word Quarantine have slowly crept into our life and summing up our daily life. Basically this quarantine has made our life slow and steady and profoundly boring. Most of us don’t even know what day is today. We sleep and wake up as we please. Everyday is like a Sunday. Tired of doing nothing productive. So much time in hand.. too many things in mind still execution is missing.

Honestly speaking for me atleast this quarantine period did not turn out as bad as I expected. At first, like everyone around I too sulked a lot at being shut at home, not able to go out and do what I please. But then I realized sulking is not helping so I thought of utilizing this time to do things which I always wanted to do. In pre covid time (yes! that’s how we are addressing the past now) I always use to make excuses of not having enough time to pursue what I want, but now that excuse has been brutally robbed from me and here I am.

I have also realized the importance of family which I unknowingly and royally took for guaranteed. Looking back I am also regreting all those time where I ditched all awesome plan with friends, all the parties that I have missed by making up some stupid last minute excuses. (Never ever I am ditching a single plan or party from now on). And foremost of all can you imagine I have also started missing my workplace, my desk, my clients, my colleagues. I never thought I will miss them atleast. But don’t worry I still think I am sane as I have not started missing my boss yet.

But jokes apart, I guess this pandemic have given us some time to look after ourselves and our love ones. Its giving us a break from our fast tiring life. It has given us a time to sit and think what we actually want from life. Its giving us time to pursue our hobby. It giving us time to spend with parents and siblings and to do a video call to that long forgotten friend. It has given us enough time to binge watch all series which we are keeping in our watch list.

Quarantine is pain but definitely with certain gain.

Lets focus on gains